Ganz toller Blogpost von hollyblack, die mit den hornigen Viechern scheinbar genau so verbunden ist wie ich es bin. Dennoch ein ganz schöner Zombie Diss.
1. Unicorns are nearly the fastest land animal, second only to the cheetah. No lumbering around groggily like a zombie for the zippy unicorn. And this is a real benefit if the unicorn deigns to carry you on its back as no zombie hordes will ever be able to catch up.
2. Unicorns can heal. A single touch from their horn can purify water, cure diseases and even end heartburn. In fact, it’s possible that the unicorn is the only creature able to cure infection from a zombie bite. So keep one around at all times, just in case.
3. Unicorns have swords on their heads. I think we can all agree that swords are awesome. Not only that, but a unicorn can impale a zombie before it gets close enough to bite. Safety first!
4. As a kid in Baltimore once wisely pointed out, there’s a lot of speculation about what a zombie apocalypse might be like, but imagine how much more awesome a unicorn apocalypse would be.
5. Unicorns smell like rainbows and happiness. Zombies smell like zombies.
6. Unicorns are pretty. Zombies are never pretty, even if you cover them in glitter.
7. Unicorns like you for the real you; zombies only want you for your brains.
8. There are unicorn tapestries. Hopefully, I will never have to see a zombie tapestry.
9. It’s true that unicorns have been associated with trapper keepers, rainbows and happiness, but what’s wrong with that? Who hates rainbows? Who hates happiness? Zombies, that’s who!
10. Unicorns have been used to represent monarchs, knights, as well as replicants, resurrection, otherworldly beauty, virtue and strength. Always, they represent life. The death of a zombie is ultimately meaningless. There is no sorrow when a zombie dies. The death of a unicorn is always shocking – it shakes the foundations of the universe.